Friday, August 26, 2011
she's been in school a while now.
buddy has been taking it really hard.
she's always been there, 24/7, 365.
they have never spent days or very many hours apart.
the very first day of school, little man and i got to walk her to the classroom. She was pumped and we were (of course) running late. We quickly rush into the building. i'm suddenly remembering things i've forgotten to do:
paint her toenails.
put the lunch money in an envelope.
write her name on her back pack.
brush your own hair.
leave on time, again.
once we're in there, she's beaming and MP has a sudden urge to pee.
he helps himself to the in-room potty throne. she settles down in her chair and i start doing the 'last minutes' i should have handled at home. MP comes out, helps himself to a john deere tractor and proceeds to drive it around the room. i've finished up and it is time to go. we can't linger any longer. although, we would have both stayed all day if we could. he starts to resist me and i know it's gonna be a fight. i kiss my girl and walk back over to my boy. i can see the fear and hurt in his eyes. i can imagine the thoughts in that too smart 3 year old noggin "so this is it, huh? you told me i can't stay? we'll see about that lady."
and the bottom drops out.
i bring him over to say good bye to his sister. he screams. he cries. he kicks. he pinches. he hollars and wails and fights. i promise y'all he reached new levels of tone, pitch and volume that day. meltdown 101 has passed and he is now in a master's program on fit throwing.
so, we're walking now. through the halls. me and my boy.
i clutch him to my side as best as i can without resorting to the football hold on him. we're quite the lovely pair walking through the otherwise quiet school. he's screaming and i'm silently weeping. i'm fighting with all my might to keep him on my hip. my cheeks hot and wet with tears. people brightly exclaim as we pass, 'Oh, he wants to stay!' i squeeze out a pretend smile and wish their mouths closed shut for eternity. you are not helping PEOPLE! and i'm hurt on two levels this day. one: i was utterly embarrassed. two: i knew how bad this hurt him.
not surprising, it took me twenty minutes or more to leave him at daycare that morning. it was just too much for him to bear. my little man felt abandoned. he missed his sissy so terribly already. and in case you didn't know, he was going to show you just how bad it hurt.
i surprised him that day and picked him up during naptime. we had to pick up sister from 'big school'. she was going to be a carrider for like the only time all year. it was a really big deal. the time finally comes after what felt like a million minutes, and she's with us again. MP couldn't be happier. he picked out a special drink and treat for her and presented it to her with a flourish as soon as she was settled. that afternoon went by quickly.
a few days pass and MP is still struggling. he just doesn't understand why sister is not with him. and why can't he stay with her at 'big school?' it's completely logical to him. drop me off and i will just stay with her, mama. it'll be alright, he says. but we carry on each day. trying to make it work. trying to make it better, easier, a little more bearable for him.
a few more days pass and Norie asks if MP can sleep with her, in her bed. wellllll, okkkkk. sure. why not? he stays in there for a bit and then decides he wants his own room. i come to help him carry his things and my girl starts crying. real tears. and i ask her what's wrong.
she tells me: i just need him to stay with me mama. he's the bestest. he's the bestest, when the lights go out at school; he never gets scared. and when my things fall, like my jewlery box, he always catches them so they don't break. he's just the bestest, mama. he's my hero! she says with a quivering conviction in her voice.
MP is radiating with happiness. his sissy needs him too! she asks him so sweetly, to just stay with her awhile. and eagerly, he climbs back up and settles in with her. snuggles up and kisses her forehead. and as i'm walking out. i hear him whisper, thanks sissy. i luveee youah.
my heart smiles. my two perfect peas in a perfect pod.
Until, tomorrow morning, i'm sure. ;)