Tuesday, January 26, 2010

my first

Wow, so I have officially started a blog. Embarrassing, right? Well, maybe not...
(I wonder how many people say that during their first post?)

So, I should probably start off by telling you a little about the Kelly family. First, there is me. Kayla aka mama-MOTHER-mommmmmy-pack mule-healer of bo-bos-keeper of the house-taker outer of dog-feeder/cleaner/doctor of turtles-cook-nanny-and pretend funny person extraordinaire.
Next comes the husband. Mark aka daddy-dad-Roxee's love toy-meat cook phenom-strongest man in the world-Norah's official hair brusher-MP's official punching bag-and professional husband.
Then, we have the namesakes...Norah (Knucklehead #1) and Mark Patrick (Knucklehead # 2.)Norah aka sissy-Norie-scooby doo-boo boo-angel girl-teenager in a 3 year old body-comedienne of the family-professional dancer-and esteemed language artist and quite possibly the most beautiful girl that has ever lived.
Now, Mark Patrick aka-bubba-bow bow-brotherman-man man-hammerhead-future quarterback/baseball player/dancer/gymnast/Olympic hopeful-MP3rds-and quite possibly the most handsome boy that has ever lived.
Next come the non-human extensions of the Kelly household: Roxee-lady, age 8 weeks, lab mix puppy; Oolie- red eared slider turtle, gender unknown, named by Norah, claimed by all; Dabu- red eared slider turtle, gender unknown, named by Mark Patrick, claimed by all; and lastly...some fish. We haven't named them but may have to start since they are now procreating. I am the unofficial grandmother to fish. (Not where I saw myself at 25-for sure)
And that's all of us! :) We are quite the rare breed. And, now that we are all acquainted...

Anyways, so let me tell you happened in the Kelly house around 3AMish this morning.
Oh yeah-you read that right, 3AMISH!

(side note: Mark is out of town working so the kids have been crawling in bed with me and Roxee each night. Two toddler ninja kickers+a dog+a normal sized adult human=one small bed.)

So, I am feeling the love of sweet unconsciousness when I awake to the smell of toothpaste.
Hmm, I wonder...toothpaste? I must be dreaming.
My eyes are fighting my brain this early morning and don't want to open, plus my contacts were sticking to my eyes...no surprise there!
And as I rollover, I see my sweet angels covered in blue toothpaste! Blue toothpaste...we don't HAVE blue toothpaste! My brain reminds me, 'I threw away some kid's Crest this weekend that was about 2 years old.'
CURSES! MP has been in the trash...again. Unfortunately, no surprise there either. To you, reading along, this may seem quite hilarious. But, alas, it was not to the crazy one-eyed mother who was screaming into the darkness before the sun decided to let the rooster know it was the start of a new day.

Goooood Moooorrrrning, Sunshine!

Well, no more procrastinating-time to survey the damage. As I begin to sit up, I feel foreign bed matter all around. Puzzles, books and toys DO NOT belong in my bed. But, there they were, hanging out with the knuckleheads just waiting to be played with. Alright, damage survey now includes 1) toothpaste covered children and 2) way too many toys in my bed. Not too bad, right? (Remember, we haven't left the sweet comfort of bed, yet)

Honestly, I can't remember which comes next but I guess all in all it doesn't matter the order. Basically, this is what I saw...knuckleheads created a painting on the mirror setting next to my bed, I'd call it 'toothpaste by numbers,' there was toothpaste all over the toilet, counter and floor in my bathroom, MP had also taken the stickers off my deodorant, plastic casing off my hair mud and stuffed a bottle of hair spray in the toilet, there was water ALL over the bathroom floor, the deodorant holder was on the opposite side of the bed and appeared half-eaten, and the dog peed on the carpet. I can giggle now that is has been a few hours but I swear to you, my face was purple due to the holding of my breath (still wishing it was a dream).

It is now sometime near 5:00 AM; kids are de-pasted, counters, floor, toilet and mirror are clean, dog pee is out of the carpet and lysol'd and the kids have been instructed to "NOT MOVE FROM THE SPOT I PUT YOU!" mmmmmm, laying back down now. God, I love sleep.

**bzzt, bzzt, beep, beep, beep, beep, bzzt, bzzt**

It's my alarm...it's 6:00 AM now. I start my daily routine, thankful the kiddos are still sleeping, and what happens next? dog pee-on the tile-right outside my bedroom door-it splashes against the sole of my foot and in between my toes. Good thing I needed to shower anyways, Rox, thanks girl.

Later on that morning, the kids are up and running and Norah walks up to me so sweetly and innocently, looking right into my eyes and says, "Mom, you sure did yell at us a lot last night."
I reply with the sheepish, "I'm sorry mommy yelled, baby. I really am. We don't talk to each other like that, do we?"
"Noooo," she says. "But I have been thinking, and, since you yelled at me, I can yell at you now, right?" Man, her mind works too quickly to be 3-she just knows everything. Little smarty pants.

I try to explain that is not how it works. She blurts, "AND you always tell me what to do." Again, I try to explain that's a mommy's job; to help her babies make good decisions and to ensure they are safe, by all means necessary... (shaking my head as I write now...I had a feeling this was coming)

"UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH, I am so full of anger at you now Mama!", she screams.

And all I can say is, "I know baby, I know" and pull her tight and steal her sugars.

Aahhh, I love this life. I really, really do.


  1. So.... good job on your first post! Very funny! It was still funny even though I heard the story this morning...those knuckleheads! At least they are keeping it interesting for you while their daddy is out of town!

  2. Thanks sweetheart! They are most definately helping out on the "laugh" factor while their daddy is gone. Too bad he's missing out! :)