Monday, August 9, 2010

yes, i know it is August

and i realize i haven't posted anything since, well, ummmmmm...
that last post, which was titled a lot but said really nothing at all.
cause i had a lot to say then.
but that in no way amounts to the volume of stuff i have bouncing around in my brain right now. i'm not ready to talk about it all yet. not even one tiny bit. but writing, it helps me.
it helps me remember.
it helps me to feel.
it helps me declutter my thoughts.
it helps me hurt.
it helps me heal.
it helps me laugh.
it helps me cry.
it helps me hold grudges when i just don't want to let it go.
it helps me put away some of the exhausting feelings i have been having of late.
it helps me work it all out.
it helps me. it just freaking helps.

so here i am writing; random, fractured thoughts.
in a nutshell, my head is crazy right now. bouncing, erratic bits of information, questions, emotions, thoughts.
i feel left out by some.
i feel shut out by others.
a lot of people confuse me.
others hurt me in ways i didn't know possible.
i got really pissed off this weekend. i mean like REALLY pissed off.
today was my first day back at work in almost a month.
my new scar on my physical self looks good; healing up nicely. i am a firm believer in that skin super glue.
the new wounds on my heart aren't healing like i think they should. sometimes i wonder if they are meant to heal at all.
i am amazed by the compassion of others.
the outpouring of love and giving in honor of another.
thankful for so much.
those McDonald's french fries were not a nutritious lunch or enough to fill the void in my belly.
my eyes hurt a lot.
i got new glasses last week but they don't quite fit right yet.
i think lucida sans should be the default font for the world.
this might be enough for today.
so i'll end with this:

my heart


  1. shouldn't you be working and not venting? ha ha I love you sister.

  2. which sister is this? huh, huh?

  3. new physical scar??? what did you do??